Dear Amy: I happened to meet up with my high school sweetheart more than four years ago. I fell in love with her again, and we had an affair. It made me end a 32-year marriage.
My sweetheart kept her marriage together, and I always respected that.
Recently, though, she walked away without any commentary whatsoever, other than a phone call when she said she still thinks about me. I want to get together, vet this and have that last quiet moment together, but she has remained silent.
I do not want to push myself on her, but I am burning inside and ready to reveal this entire relationship -- not as revenge, of course, but to serve as a learning experience not to fool with someone's emotions without facing the consequences. Is there anything to be gained by bringing this out to her husband?
- Hurt in Wisconsin
Dear Hurt: Right now, you are angry. Of course, you're vengeful. Simmer down before you do anything drastic.
I need to point out that you cheated on your wife before dumping her. Your energy might best be served reflecting on your own behavior and the part you played in this mess, as well as the pain it has caused you and others.
I'd be surprised if your sweetheart granted you the relationship-vetting meeting you desire, so rather than press to meet, you should do your best to walk away from this train wreck.
Dear Amy: I am going to college near home and live with my parents, but in a year will be moving to another state to live with my best friend and continue my schooling. I am moving because my program is not offered nearby.
My best girlfriend and I have always wanted to be roommates. The only problem is that I have a boyfriend of three years who lives near me now. He said he would be willing to move and go to school near me, but only if he could live with my best friend and me because he could not afford to live on his own and does not know anyone in the area.
I know my friend wants it to be just a "girls' house" and not feel like a third wheel. I love my boyfriend, but I don't want to ruin plans with my best friend. What should I do?
- Stuck in the middle
Dear Stuck: Give your girlfriend the benefit of ample advance notice about this situation. Living with a couple is a drag. Your girlfriend deserves the opportunity to find another roommate.
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