Reader says youth should lighten up

Published online on Sunday, Oct. 11, 2009

Dear Amy: I was saddened by the letter from "Sad Senior," in which he/she lamented the fact that, while Sad's classmates spent the summer before their senior year in high school in "prestigious internships," Sad merely took college courses and visited relatives.

What has happened to our youth?

The summer before my senior year of high school, I worked concession stands at festivals for minimum wage. In my spare time, I partied with my friends and my boyfriend, hung out at the beach and read novels.

I now have a Ph.D. and perform groundbreaking research at the most prestigious hospital in the country. (For the record, my parents paid 20% of my expenses for college and none for graduate school.)

I am serious when I ask this: Are today's young people barred from such success if they don't give up their youth in pursuit of long-term goals, or are they buckling down way too early and too seriously for little gain in the long run?

-- Way Former Teen

Dear Former: While I am amused by your tale of slacker's revenge, it occurs to me that young people just can't win. Either they're uselessly lying on the couch or they're wasting their youth being too ambitious.

Not every young person is blessed with your brains and talent. Most people have to work hard to attain the level of security and confidence that you were evidently born with.

I agree with you that it seems a shame to spend one's youth chasing prestige, especially when you could be outside, riding a bike.

But I also have to point out that "Sad Senior" (and you, evidently) didn't have to worry too much about money; feeling pressure over prestigious internships is a pretty cushy problem to have.

Dear Amy: I am responding to the 14-year-old boy who slammed a car door and (obviously) broke the electric window.

With all due respect, Amy, you really whiffed on this one.

Speaking as a clinical psychologist who works with troubled teens and as a parent educator, you must hold the boy accountable or he simply won't learn the lesson that his misbehavior has real-life effects.

He and/or his parents should pay the $600 repair bill entirely, and he should apologize. If he doesn't have $600, he must do yard work, chores, etc., to pay off his debt.

Our youth are going to hell in a handbasket and not holding them accountable is the No. 1 reason.

-- Stan

Dear Stan: It wasn't at all obvious that the 14-year-old boy's behavior broke the car's window mechanism; making him or his family pay for this would be an injustice.

He does owe the car's owner an apology, however.