Dear Amy: Two years ago, my children attended a day-care center in our area.
The facility was amazing and the owner-director, "James," was like a second father to my daughters.
I completely trusted him and his staff, and my children loved going there every day.
My husband and I stumbled into some deep debt, mainly because of his job loss, and fell behind in our payments to everyone, including the day- care center.
I pulled the children out of the center and promised to pay as much as we could every week or month until we were caught up.
Long story short, everything else seemed to take priority and we never got caught up with them.
A collection agency eventually took over and finally, recently, we were able to pay him what he was owed (plus numerous completely understandable fees).
Now that we have finally caught up, should I send a letter expressing my embarrassment and apologies about leaving him in the lurch like that?
I would like him to know how much we appreciated his care of my children and how much I wish this situation had never happened.
Should I apologize or leave him alone?
-- Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed: In general, if you wonder whether you should apologize for something, you should.
Many people don't realize how powerful the act of apologizing can be. You should also ask to be forgiven.
James provided a necessary service to your family and then had to chase you for payment. You should acknowledge your embarrassment over this, tell him you'll forever be grateful for the high-quality service he provided for your family and tell him that despite your financial troubles, you've done your best to clear your debt -- but that you will always feel a personal debt of gratitude to him.
Dear Amy: "Paula from Detroit" wrote to you wondering what direction she should take in life.
You should have suggested the military!
My son went into the Army right after high school, where he did just enough to skate by. Now he has a sense of pride, strength and a strong character.
College is not for everyone.
-- A Blue Star Mother
Dear Mother: Your suggestion is great, thank you.
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