Dear Amy: My brother and his girlfriend have finally decided to get married.
The family received invitations in the mail, and on the side of the invitation it stated "adult-only reception, no children under 18, please."
This puts my husband and me in a sticky situation because we have a 16-year-old and a 14-year-old. They are the only children on my brother's side.
This has really hurt my children's feelings, and now they don't even want to go to the wedding ceremony.
I asked about it, and the bride said they have very limited seating and had to scale back, and I understand.
My question is why would they invite friends and cousins they rarely see over their niece and nephew, whom they see all the time?
My husband and I decided we are not going to go to the reception without our kids, and I explained to the bride that we do not think it is right to bring them to the wedding and then have to drop them off at home while we go to the reception.
Not being able to go to their reception is hurting me.
Should we stick to our guns and not go to the reception, or drop our kids off at home and go? I love my brother and his girlfriend.
-- Stick to Our Guns?
Dear Stick: Your brother and his bride have been very clear, and you claim to understand their reasons but expect for your children to be granted an exception.
This should not be an occasion for your family to have your feelings hurt, but an opportunity for you to explain to your kids that they can't be included in every event.
It's not complicated, and it's not personal. Sometimes you don't get to do things you want to do. Your kids shouldn't use their feelings to manipulate you.
Couples have the right to choose the guest list for their wedding receptions, and if you don't like the terms , then I agree that your family should enjoy the wedding ceremony and skip the reception.
Dear Amy: Our oldest son is on the cusp of dating.
When he and a date go out for the first time, who pays?
As a mother who watches her son cut grass, baby-sit and do chores to earn spending money, I find it odd that a girl would expect my son to pay for everything. What is the protocol? Have we evolved?
-- Mom
Dear Mom: The person who initiates the invitation should offer to pay for the guest, regardless of gender.
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