Dear Amy: I'm almost 25, and over the last few weeks I have found myself at a fork in the road with bad GPS.
I have many friends pushing in many directions, the very limited support of my family and unemployment. I also have mixed feelings about everything.
On one hand, I could go to college.
In the past, this wasn't a priority for me. I valued education, but I've never fit in well in a classroom setting. I catch on quickly, get bored and lose interest in finishing whatever task I have in front of me.
I can't deny that school could be great for me, but I just worry about my ability to stay with it. Or I could leave the relative comfort of home and see what the world has to offer.
Part of me (perhaps the dreamer) has always liked this idea. However, I lack resources to do it, and the well-learned terror of doing it without those resources. Or I could stay the course and find another job that will pay the bills while I spend my free time on the small joys.
-- Paula From Detroit
Dear Paula: Let me suggest yet another route. Find another job to pay the bills. I suggest trying to get a job in a busy restaurant, where the pace of the work will prevent you from getting bored or overthinking things. Also choose a class or two to take at your local community college. Your goal should be to complete your schooling successfully, in manageable portions.
You should also get an evaluation to see if you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
Mine is an armchair opinion, but your issues and challenges are consistent with somebody who has ADHD.
And yes -- continue to appreciate life's small joys. Your life's GPS might be a little faulty right now, but enjoying the little things will help while you search for your "true north."
Dear Amy: My friend has had plans with me for the last two Friday nights. Definite, solid plans.
He stood me up two Friday nights in a row and called the next mornings to say he fell asleep at 6 p.m. on one Friday and at 8 p.m. the next Friday.
He didn't sound remorseful at all.
When I began to get upset, he said, "Well maybe you shouldn't make plans with me on Friday nights." This guy is a social butterfly, and I find it hard to believe he would not go out two Friday nights in a row.
-- RP
Dear RP: Don't make plans with him for Friday nights. In fact it's not necessary for you to make plans with him at all. The friendship ball is very much in his court. When he can figure out how to honor his plans with you, you'll have your friendship back.
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