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VALLEY'S TOP 10: Ways the Valley can help China clean its air for the Olympics:

Published online on Sunday, Aug. 10, 2008

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10. Send radio talk-show hosts to Beijing to convince them dirty air is liberal hoax.

9. Valley's unemployed construction workers can build a blue-sky dome over Beijing.

8. Send Fresno's pedi-cabs to lighten the rickshaw load.

7. Have Valley do-gooders hold air-quality focus groups, emptying Beijing because of boredom.

6. Dispatch Coach Pat Hill to Olympic Village to point out that Beijing's air is better than what his players breathe in Fresno.

5. Let Alan Autry tell Olympic athletes that activist judges have phonied up the case for Bejiing's bad air.

4. Point out that asthma can help with population control.

3. Have gross-polluting car crushing party in Beijing.

2. Let China borrow electric lawn mowers from Valley air district.

1. Loan out Legislature's budget blowhards for use as human fans around Olympic venues.

Send suggestions for our weekly Top 10 list to letters@fresnobee.com.

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