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Gender stereotypes don’t help in evaluating gift
Dear Amy: Many years ago, my husband surprised me with a pair of diamond earrings. Needless to say, I was very happy at receiving this unexpected gift.
However, shortly thereafter I found out that his best friend had bought the same pair of earrings at the same time for his girlfriend.
This bothered me quite a bit and took some of the "magic" out of the situation.
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Gender stereotypes don’t help in evaluating gift
Dear Amy: Many years ago, my husband surprised me with a pair of diamond earrings. Needless to say, I was very happy at receiving this unexpected gift.
However, shortly thereafter I found out that his best friend had bought the same pair of earrings at the same time for his girlfriend.
This bothered me quite a bit and took some of the "magic" out of the situation.
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How to maintain a healthy mother-daughter relationship
Lane Carsh of Walnut Creek calls her daughter, Dawn, her biggest blessing. They are close, share the same wit and love of family. However, she is careful not to call Dawn her best friend. They tried that briefly when Dawn was 18, Lane says. They went shopping, dancing, and talked about "everything." It didn't quite work.
"We would get into arguments like sisters," says Lane, 64. "It wasn't a good thing. A mother needs to have a certain amount of respect, but she has to earn it. How can you be the mother and the best friend?"
The relationship between mother and daughter is complicated. In some circles, there is an expectation that despite the parental connection, the two are also the closest of friends, especially these days, as many young women delay marriage and babies into their 30s.
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Questions for Hanson
I have some questions for Fresno Unified School District Superintendent Michael Hanson.
I would like my daughter to spend 66 school days at home next year. She's getting ready to apply to college and needs to keep her grades up. What school should she go to and what classes should she take to make sure her absenteeism doesn't interfere with her grades?
I'm a teacher. After reading Superintendent Hanson's statement about "excessive absenteeism" not correlating with poor grades, I feel grossly overworked. It sounds like I could work 66 less days per year than I do and there would be no difference in student achievement! Does he think we should just shorten the school year?
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He obsesses about late wife's meetings with another man
Dear Amy: My wife passed away seven years ago. Two weeks ago, I was reading a travel diary that my late wife wrote while in Europe on business.
My wife and I were not married at the time of this trip, but we had been a couple for 12 years, since our school days.
My wife was staying in a converted castle, along with managers from all over the world who had gathered there for a seminar. They all ate together, had 24-hour access to the kitchen and could request any sort of meal they wanted.
I really appreciate W. Edward Chynoweth's letter Feb. 5. It made me realize how blessed I have been to have a father who told me that there was nothing I couldn't do. His comment that "women are formed by nature for attentions, not for hard labor" makes me laugh.
Having spent a life working in a world dominated by men, heck, maybe he's right. Maybe I should just tell my daughter that she should go to beauty school instead of West Point. Maybe she shouldn't be allowed to take up a space that a man should have. Well, no matter what she eventually does, I hope that the "attentions" she may receive come from kudos from her troops that she will lead when this country is at war with the next enemy.
I hope for every daughter out there that they have a father who tells them "they can do anything."
Colleen Mestas
Fresno
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