Secure the borders? The Republicans in the House refuse to act on immigration reform until we "secure the borders." What a ludicrous idea! The border is 1,933 miles long. Personally, I can only think of two ways to do that.
1) Put machine gun installations every 50 yards, staffed by four men on 12-hour shifts. Rotate teams on a two-weeks on, two-weeks off basis, and machine-gun down everyone who tries to cross illegally. That would only require 1,088,666 men.
2) Build a double wall of 40-feet-high by 20-feet-wide concrete barriers like the ones used in Iraq and Israel (to keep the Palestinians out) with, say, 40 feet between the walls (anyone trapped between them would just have to die there). That would be 5,630,829 concrete barriers.
Once finished, tear down the Statue of Liberty. It's very misleading these days, and gives all those potential immigrants the wrong idea. The inscription reads, "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to be free; The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest tost to me; I lift my lamp beside the golden door."