WASHINGTON — No one wrote about blondes like Raymond Chandler.
"There is the small cute blonde who cheeps and twitters and the big statuesque blonde who straight-arms you with an ice-blue glare," he wrote in "The Long Goodbye."
"There is the blonde who gives you the up-from-under look and smells lovely and shimmers and hangs on your arm and is always very, very tired when you take her home."
There's the pale, anemic, languid blonde with the soft voice. "You can't lay a finger on her," Chandler notes, "because in the first place you don't want to and in the second place she is reading 'The Waste Land' or Dante in the original." None of his descriptions, however, conjures the two regal blondes transfixing America at the moment: Hillary and Elsa.
Those close to them think that the queen of Hillaryland and the Snow Queen from Disney's "Frozen" have special magical powers, but worry about whether they can control those powers, show their humanity and stir real warmth in the public heart.
Just as Elsa's coronation suddenly became fraught, so has Hillary's. Like Arendelle, America is frozen: The war still rages in Iraq, the Clintons still dominate the political scene and Hillary still obsesses about money, a narrative thread that has existed since she was thwarted in her desire to build a pool at the governor's mansion in poor Arkansas and left the White House with a doggie bag full of sofas, rugs, lamps, TVs and china, some of which the Clintons later had to pay for or return. Even Chelsea was cashing in, getting a ridiculous, $600,000-a-year scion salary from NBC, far greater than that of many of the network's correspondents.
As a Clinton White House aide once explained to me, "Hillary, though a Methodist, thinks of herself like an Episcopal bishop who deserves to live at the level of her wealthy parishioners, in return for devoting her life to God and good works."
After feeling stifled at times and misunderstood, after suffering painful setbacks, the powerful and polarizing Elsa and Hillary proclaim from their lofty height that they're going to "let it go" and go for it. (Although Elsa's wolves are not as fierce as the FOX predators after Hillary.)
"I don't care what they're going to say," Elsa sings at the climactic moment when she decides to let down her hair, ratchet up her star power and create her glittering ice palace. "Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway!"
Hillary had a similar cri de coeur in her interview with Diane Sawyer. When Sawyer asked her about the focus on her appearance that once kept her so "scripted, cautious, safe," Hillary replied: "I am over it, over it. I think I have changed; not worried so much about what other people are thinking." She vowed to now "say what I know, what I believe, and let the chips fall."
It would make a great Idina Menzel anthem, but it's not believable that Hillary Clinton will suddenly throw caution and calculation to the wind. Having market-tested the gender-neutral model in 2008, this time Hillary is presenting herself as a woman who has suffered the slings and arrows of sexism.
Her apology for being "wrong" about voting to authorize W. to invade Iraq took 11 years to spit out, and she told the Council on Foreign Relations that she "could not have predicted" the success of al-Qaida-inspired insurgents in seizing control of Iraqi cities. If some bold voices had fought going into a patently unnecessary war against a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 — a war, waged ignorantly for silly, macho reasons, that was never properly debated or planned in the White House — America would not be in a global crouch now, and Iraq would not be a killing field.
Hillary's new memoir, like her last one, is a testament to caution and calculation. There isn't one surprising or scintillating or provocative word in the whole book. "Hard Choices" is inert, a big yawn.
In her "If they'd listened to me" mode, she is distancing herself from the president on Syria, Russia and the Bergdahl trade because she does not, as Republican strategist Matthew Dowd puts it, want to be defeated by Obama twice.
No one doubts that Hillary is tough and knowledgeable. But the question of how scarred and defensive she is, given all the fights and rough times she has gone through, and how that affects her judgment now, is a legitimate one.
What Elsa discovers at the end of "Frozen" is that her powers can actually be used for good, once her heart is filled with love. She escapes from her prison, leaves behind the negative things that held her back, and leads her kingdom to a happy and prosperous future.
Maureen Dowd writes for The New York Times.