Enter the Warzone, a seventh-round pick out of Wossamotta U.
** Players chirping at umpires. Players chirping at other players. Fans chirping at umpires. Fans chirping at players.
Went to the Buchanan High-Clovis baseball game the other night, but it felt more like an aviary.
** Things got heated right away when a Buchanan baserunner slid across the plate while scampering home on a wild pitch -- and taking out the long legs of Clovis pitcher McCarthy Tatum.
The Bears romped 9-4 (after their catcher and three fans got ejected), but Cougars star Jacob Gatewood left his mark with a two-run homer to left-center before going the opposite way for a two-run double.
Little wonder Gatewood is a projected top-10 pick in next month's MLB Draft ...
** Speaking of drafts, the NFL is getting around to holding theirs this week. Finally. Humanity should be subjected to only so much Mel Kiper and Todd McShay in a calendar year.
** After what happened to his older brother, Derek Carr should hope he gets picked by a winning franchise where he's not expected to be the savior.
If that means his name is still on the board later than Carr or his supporters might like, so be it.
He'll be better off in the long run.
** Davante Adams lacks the top-end downfield speed of a true NFL No. 1 receiver.
But nothing else. He'll be gone by the end of Round 2 as well.
** Now that California Chrome is a Kentucky Derby champion, an already remarkable story is on its way to becoming legendary.
Does anyone think the Coalinga-bred colt will be challenged in two weeks at the Preakness, which is one-sixteenth of a mile shorter?
** Been saying for months Fresno State needed another big man to contend next season in the Mountain West.
At 6-9 and 255 pounds, Terrell Carter certainly qualifies. Especially the 255 pounds. That's size enough to bang in the post.
** But since so many MW big men graduated or left early -- all the good ones minus Wyoming's Larry Nance -- the Bulldogs may actually be in a strong position with Braeden Anderson, Alex Davis and Carter.
** Sounds like Top Rank Boxing has given Jose Ramirez a credible opponent to headline the May 17 card at Selland Arena.
Though the 6,100 fans who have already purchased tickets probably wouldn't mind another quick KO.
** How out-of-nowhere is the Fresno Grizzlies' current nine-game win streak?
Until sweeping El Paso and Albuquerque, the Grizzlies had lost four of their first six series (dropping three of four games) and split the other two.
** Last time the Grizzlies won more than nine straight, Jim Davenport was the manager and Jacob Cruz the star hitter.
Yup -- 1998. Back when Triple-A baseball was the newest thing in town.
** While the rest of the NBA was knocking each other silly, LeBron James and the Heat got a nice, long rest.
Three straight titles never looked so certain.
** Both Western Conference semis, Thunder-Trail Blazers and Spurs-Clippers, have a chance to go seven games.
After two more tough series, the Finals survivor will be knackered.
** For no particular reason: LaPhonso Ellis
** The Tour of California cycling race begins Sunday in Sacramento. Planning to head up there and ask organizers about their Clovis amnesia.
** Less than two weeks after "forgetting" to pay for $32 worth of crab legs, Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston was reinstated to the Florida State baseball team.
Winston got off light because authorities believe the crab legs walked out with him consensually.
Force yourself on the Warzone at (559) 441-6218, firstname.lastname@example.org or @MarekTheBee on Twitter.