Enter the Warzone, steer wrestling for the right words.
** Not all that long ago, Donald Sterling was best known for being cheap.
Bet he longs for those days.
** According to the legal experts on TV, the NBA can't force Sterling to sell the Clippers simply for being racist.
So look for a lengthy suspension and repeated public denouncements from new Commissioner Adam Silver. Anything to quell the torch-and-pitchfork crowd.
** As part of his punishment, Sterling should be forced to watch film of his Clippers teams from the '80s.
** The NAACP announced Sterling would not be receiving a lifetime achievement award from its Los Angeles branch.
While leaders privately thanked their lucky stars the banquet wasn't last week.
** Mark Jackson's suggestion that fans boycott Tuesday's Game 5 against the Warriors is heartfelt but misguided.
Better if they show up and cheer loudly while not wearing Clippers gear or buying Clippers concessions.
** Fresno State announced Tim DeRuyter's contract signing and Brandon Connette's transfer on the same day.
Anyone over there heard of a rake? Spread out that good news.
** No one should confuse Connette with Derek Carr. In fact, Connette's a bigger version of Jordan Lynch, the Northern Illinois quarterback who stole Carr's Heisman presentation invite.
** The only way Connette isn't named Fresno State's starting quarterback is if he's outperformed in fall camp by Brian Burrell.
Not necessarily a bad thing. It would mean Burrell has drastically improved.
** How cool is it that Tom Goodwin named his son Satchel?
Even cooler: Satchel Goodwin was in the Giants dugout, as a bat boy, on that day in 2002 when Barry Bonds and Jeff Kent wanted to kill each other.
** Satchel Goodwin stole a school record-tying 26 bases for Reedley College and coach Steve Pearse, which sounds impressive until you recall pops once stole 66 bags for the Royals.
Give the kid time.
** Fresno State’s five-game baseball winning streak consists of three victories against the last-place team in the Mountain West, one against the fifth-place team in the Big West and one against the 10th-place team in the Pac 12.
So let’s hold off a bit before proclaiming a turnaround.
** Less than a month after he was the Pirates' first baseman on opening day, Travis Ishikawa is coming off the bench for the Grizzlies.
Ishikawa, as any Giants fan worth his Panda hat should know, drew the most important walk in franchise history during a 2010 playoff series against the Braves. Look it up.
** Starting in 2016, all SEC football teams will be required to play one nonconference game against a team from the Big 12, Pac 12, Big Ten or Big 12.
That thud you heard was another door slamming shut on the likes of Fresno State.
** Hall of Fame coach-turned-broadcaster Jack Ramsay taught basketball fans more about the game than any analyst on television.
This one included.
** For no particular reason: Smush Parker
** Ran into former Bulldogs special teams guru John Baxter (and lovely wife Jill) in the new VIP suites at the Clovis Rodeo.
After losing his job at USC, Baxter is taking a year off from coaching and living near Shaver Lake. He looked pretty relaxed in that cowboy hat.
** Every year at the Clovis Rodeo you see something new.
Those kayak races after Friday's downpour? Completely unexpected.
** Next morning, the Fresno County Sheriff's loaned a helicopter to dry out the arena dirt.
Sure, chopper fuel is expensive. But so are twisted hoofs.
The Warzone likes to run wild but can occasionally be lassoed at (559) 441-6218, email@example.com or @MarekTheBee on Twitter.