Enter the Warzone, a camel spin through the sports world.
** Kudos to ESPN's Outside the Lines and especially producer Scott Harves for their moving, inspiring documentary of the Mendota High football team.
Bee readers already knew about these remarkable young men thanks to Andy Boogaard's reporting. Now the rest of the country does, too.
** Our favorite part was watching fiery Aztecs coach Beto Mejia yell "So!" over and over during a pregame speech.
Might be the shortest catchphrase of all time.
** Provided Mendota's Edgar Segura qualifies academically, Fresno State needs to find a way get him in a Bulldogs uniform.
Betcha President Joseph Castro just nodded his head in agreement.
** Between the Aztecs and President Obama visiting Firebaugh, what a week in the national spotlight for western Fresno County.
Don't be jealous, Coalinga.
** A sellout crowd of 12,659 packed Chukchansi Park on Saturday night for an exhibition soccer match between the Galaxy and Earthquakes.
While that was going on, about 2,000 watched the Fresno State basketball team win its fifth straight.
Guess we know which roundball is king around here.
** Despite how well they're playing, the Bulldogs will be hard-pressed to make it six in a row at Wyoming.
Not unless the starting five spent the holiday weekend sleeping in altitude tents.
** Tuned in to the Winter Olympics just in time to catch Americans Meryl Davis and Charlie White win gold in ice fixing ... er, dancing.
** How many times must Bode Miller be asked essentially the same question ("How does it feel?") before he breaks down and cries?
As many times as it takes, apparently.
** Someone might want to tell Team USA the Bronze Age ended 3,000 years ago.
** Haven't heard a whiff about drug testing in Sochi. Guess that means everyone's clean and pure as Ivory soap.
** NFL players seem to have no problem sharing a locker room with accused murders and rapists, not to mention guys who kill teammates driving drunk.
Don't think another man peeking at their butt in the shower is going to upset team chemistry.
** The report by NFL investigator Todd Wells looks so bad for Richie Incognito that he may only be employable by the Raiders.
** Next, the NFL will launch a bullying investigator into what the Seahawks did to the Broncos at the Super Bowl.
** Has anything in sports outlived its usefulness longer than the NBA dunk contest?
Besides Brent Musburger ...
** Sure is a lot of talk about Mount Rushmore lately. Heck, we wouldn't put Mount Rushmore on our own Mount Rushmore of national memorials.
** Something about baseball in February always feels wrong.
If Fresno State (two extra-inning games in opening series) and Fresno City (21 innings) aren't careful, they'll run out of arms by April.
** Tim Lincecum rented a warehouse during the offseason and threw off an artificial mound.
Looks like someone took stock of his career.
** For no particular reason: Xander Bogaerts
** Paul Mitchell, Reedley College's public-address announcer since 1953, is hanging up his vocal cords.
How do all those scores get in the paper? Because folks like Mitchell care enough to call them in. For decades, in his case.
** The 76ers signed Kevin Grow, a high school senior with Down syndrome, to a ceremonial two-day contract.
The 76ers outbid the Bucks, who planned to start Grow at shooting guard.
The Warzone doesn't condone tanking or even getting tanked. Tell him, "Yeah, Sherman' at (559) 441-6218, email@example.com or @MarekTheBee on Twitter.