Ask Amy: Disabled parker deserves her due

FresnoJanuary 25, 2014 

Dear Amy: I have a myriad of health problems. The long and short of it is that I am often in pain and have difficulty walking, sitting and standing. That said, I do not use a wheelchair yet, and while I walk slowly, I don't always limp.

However, at my newborn's day care center, none of this matters. There are only two handicap spaces, and they are almost always taken by healthy moms who resent being asked to move to other spaces for someone who "obviously isn't disabled."

I try being polite, but some of the moms are incredibly rude. One even threatened me after I asked her to move her SUV. (She was parked across both spaces with the motor off and talking on the phone.)

Honestly, I wouldn't have asked if there were any spaces within range or even if they got in and out quickly.When there are no spaces in the lot, I have to park illegally in front of the building and block the moms who parked illegally to begin with. Guess who they think is the jerk in that scenario?

I have asked the head of the center to please post a sign reminding parents that they shouldn't take up the disabled spots but she won't do it. I feel awful about causing trouble.

Should I just suck up the pain and park far away, or in some cases, wait 10 minutes for a space? Finding another day care isn't an option.

— Disabled and distressed

Dear Disabled: You have tried asking people nicely to please respect the handicap space, which is there by law. You have gone to the head of the day care center and asked her to post a reminder, and nothing has worked.

If you don't want to make waves, you will need to continue to accommodate these rude mothers.

There is also the nuclear option: If you have a visible handicap permit and these mothers routinely park in handicap spaces and won't move their cars, then you can park behind them, trapping them in — and (after everyone has taken their babies in), call the police and ask their advice — and then wait until police arrive to ticket the other drivers.

Dear Amy: "Geezer" was concerned about dating a much younger woman.

I'm a 64-year-old man and my life partner is a 32-year-old man. For us, it works. In all of my years, I've never "clicked" with another human being so well.

His parents, who are younger than I am, are super supportive. So are many other people in our lives.

My life partner and I make each other very happy. If Geezer and his lady friend find happiness together, more power to them.

— Another geezer

Dear Another: I agree. Thank you.


You can contact Amy Dickinson via email at, follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.

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