Enter the Warzone, often re-readable but never reviewable.
** Gotta say Fresno State really stepped up with its new five-year contract for football coach Tim DeRuyter.
That's quite a statement by President Joseph Castro. Seven-and-a-half million of them.
** Of course, there's a chance Fresno State will never have to pay that amount.
If DeRuyter's next two seasons are as successful as his first two, some Big 5 school will come along with an offer that makes $1.5 million a year look like chump change.
** There will be some consternation and hand-wringing from those who believe Fresno State should be spending that money on academics.
Don't invite those people to your tailgate parties.
** Now Bulldogs fans can redirect their angst toward the uncertainty over next season's starting quarterback.
As it should be.
** A man's leg gets twisted like a pretzel in super slow-motion, there are savage hits on every snap and everyone has their undies in a bunch over a postgame interview.
Guess football fans are more desensitized to violence than they are to obnoxiousness.
** Besides, Richard Sherman had a point. You don't target an All-Pro cornerback with a fade in that situation.
That's either a bad call or an ill-advised throw.
** Sherman and Michael Crabtree obviously have some sort of history.
By all indications, it's not a friendly one.
** You want to hear trash-talking? Stick a mic in our face moments after we slam dunk a simile on deadline.
** The 49ers lost that game on Colin Kaepernick's three fourth-quarter turnovers: two interceptions and his fumble after a clock-management burp turned a fourth-and-1 into a fourth-and-6.
Meanwhile, Russell Wilson threw a touchdown pass on a fourth-and-7 after the pass rush quit rushing.
** Peyton Manning might be getting old, but watching him carve up defenses with a surgeon's precision never does.
** Months ago someone near and dear to your heart predicted a Broncos-Seahawks Super Bowl.
It was in all the papers. Well, one of them.
** Big week for Derek Carr at the Senior Bowl, where most NFL coaches, scouts and draft gurus are getting their first in-person look at him.
There'll be plenty more between now and May.
** Aaron Hernandez used to separate from safeties. Now he needs be to separated for his own safety.
** It's been pointed out that all five of Fresno State's losses in Mountain West men's basketball play have come against NCAA Tournament teams from last season.
So it should also be pointed out that three of those teams probably won't make it this season.
** The Bulldogs' schedule does get a little lighter. Unfortunately, their post players aren't getting any heavier.
** If you missed Paul George's one-handed, 360-degree windmill dunk, get yourself to the Internet. Without delay.
** When someone shoots two people because his team lost, "fan" might not be the most accurate word to describe him.
Catch our drift?
** World Sports Cafe felt like Fresno's signature sports bar from the time it opened 15 years ago until the moment it shut its doors Monday.
Pass the torch to Dog House Grill.
** For no particular reason: Louie Kelcher
** Dennis Rodman checked himself in to alcohol rehab, and there goes a month's worth of easy jokes.
** The moment we knew we arrived as a sports columnist: When Tipper T. Bull, mascot for the Visalia Rawhide, followed us on Twitter.
The steaks have definitely been raised.
Tell the Warzone he's full of bull at (559) 441-6218, email@example.com or @MarekTheBee on Twitter.