Ask Amy: Secretary's texts make a mess at boss's home

January 10, 2014 

Dear Amy: My husband's secretary sends text messages to him. Initially it was an occasional text relating to business. Over the past year or so these text messages have become more frequent and more personal. Though seemingly harmless, these messages irk me.

For example, when my husband, "Dan," was home sick with the flu she texted, "Are you feeling better?" to which he responded a polite, "Yes, thank you."

Then she started texting photos of her kids, or a cute dog, and other photos, which he has deleted to keep me from getting angry.

Last night — Friday at 9 o'clock — she texted a picture of herself with a friend who used to work at the same office. No message — just the picture.

This really ticked me off. Dan no longer responds to these messages (at my request, to keep things professional/businesslike).

She is an aggressive and rather attractive divorced woman in her 40s. I feel very annoyed that she would be thinking about my Medicare-age husband after work hours.

I expressed my dismay about this and my husband said, "Yes, she's weird, but don't you trust me?" That just pushed me to be even more irritated.

Dan and I need to know if you have any advice on how to make this stop. This woman obviously knows no boundaries and doesn't respect our privacy or our marriage and family.

— Irked

Dear Irked: It should be relatively easy for your husband to get his secretary to stop texting him in this unprofessional way. All he has to do is to say (or text) to her, "Don't send personal texts to me, please. I find it unprofessional and also disruptive to my home life."

"Dan" doesn't seem to want to do this. It might be time for you to tell him that no, you don't trust him.

Dear Amy: I worked as a legal secretary for many years. The letter from "Flummoxed" about the lawyer posting abusive comments about her secretary on Facebook made me see red. I know lawyers don't always have the best reputation, but in many years working in the legal field I was never treated with anything but dignity.

— Proud

Dear Proud: I have received scores of responses from lawyers denouncing this person's behavior.

 

You can contact Amy Dickinson via email at askamy@tribune.com, follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.

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