Enter the Warzone, written under sloppy field conditions.
-- For two days last week, a report containing one sentence about Pat Hill getting fired as Atlanta Falcons offensive line coach was the most-read story on fresnobee.com.
Wonder how many of those people smiled when they clicked.
-- When Jim Sweeney retired, many Fresno State fans groused about how badly the standards had slipped during his final years. Now, nobody brings up that stuff.
The same will happen with Hill. The longer he's gone, the more fondly he'll be remembered.
-- On behalf of the rest of the country, we'd like to thank Florida State for finally ending the SEC's streak of national championships.
Dadgummit, that took long enough.
-- Between the NFL wild-card round and the BCS bowls, what a tremendous week of football.
Unless you're a Kansas City Chiefs fan. Then it was as tremendous as a colonoscopy.
-- Forget the final score. What the San Francisco 49ers did Sunday, edging the Packers 23-20 at frigid Lambeau Field, was more impressive than last year's 45-31 divisional-round thrashing at Candlestick Park.
Road wins in the playoffs are that significant.
-- Not sure why everyone says Colin Kaepernick went sleeveless.
You mean those sleeves of tattoos on both his arms don't have a temperature rating?
Most everyone else went with multiple layers. Jim Harbaugh looked more padded than the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
-- From the moment Andrew Luck took his first snap at Stanford, it was obvious he was destined for greatness.
A lot of quarterbacks play the notes. Luck hears the melody.
-- The official attendance for Fresno State's Mountain West Conference opener against UNLV was 5,968.
Which might be accurate. If everyone in the arena got counted five times.
-- Rodney Terry probably penciled in Wednesday's game against Air Force as a win.
Then the Falcons went to UNLV on Saturday and won 75-68 …
-- The Bulldogs can ill afford an 0-3 start in the MW. Not with next week's road trips to Colorado State and No. 13 San Diego State, followed by a visit from preseason favorite New Mexico.
-- Saturday's game between the Fresno State women and Colorado State will be televised by the community access station.
Looked up the listings, and Wayne's World isn't on next.
-- On nights when their 3-pointers are falling, the Golden State Warriors look like legitimate NBA title contenders.
"Warriors" and "NBA title contenders" in the same sentence? That's a first for these fingertips.
-- What is it about Clovis West High that chews up and spits out football coaches like sunflower seeds?
Other schools around here have high athletic standards. But that place is ridiculous.
-- For no particular reason: Henry Hynoski
-- Beloved Padres broadcaster Jerry Coleman, who died Sunday after a brief illness, served his country in World War II and Korea as a marine bomber pilot.
He also served up this gem to malaprop enthusiasts: "Winfield hit his head against the wall, and it's rolling toward the infield!"
-- ESPN sideline reporter Tom Rinaldi raised a few eyebrows when he hugged Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio after the Rose Bowl.
Reaction No. 1: Rinaldi must not believe in the concept of professional distance.
Reaction No. 2: Don't worry, Coach DeRuyter. We're not getting any ideas.
Bring the Warzone into your warm embrace at (559) 441-6218, email@example.com or @MarekTheBee on Twitter.