Enter the Warzone, where the ball never drops.
** Looking for an epitaph for Fresno State's football season?
Here lie the 11-2 Bulldogs. Not as good as we all thought, but not as bad as USC made them look.
** Just because Fresno State's special teams were awful does not mean Tim DeRuyter should hire a former Bulldogs special teams coach who's currently out of work.
Especially one who predicted the program would fall off a cliff the minute Pat Hill left.
** That said, DeRuyter has to do something about the special teams.
A new coach, new personnel philosophy, new emphasis ... something. Because each time the Bulldogs kick off, fans shouldn't have to avert their eyes.
** To the surprise of absolutely no one, Davante Adams declared for the NFL draft.
When you've caught passes from Jesus (Adams' pet name for Derek Carr), you don't hang around for one of the disciples.
** Adams this fall had 131 receptions for 1,718 yards and 24 touchdowns -- all school records.
But the only number that matters now is 4.4: the 40-yard time that will vault Adams above his initial third-round evaluation.
** Back in September, Adams told us he's ran a hand-timed 4.46. If he does that for NFL scouts, Fresno State could have two first-round picks.
** The Bulldogs aren't the only Mountain West Conference team to have a star player leave early. So, too, did Boise State's Demarcus Lawrence, Colorado State's Kapri Bibbs and Wyoming's Brett Smith.
Moral of the story: Not all college football players are there to get a degree.
** Just as we predicted (save for one road win and one home loss), the Fresno State basketball team is 7-6 entering conference play.
Meaning Bulldogs fans are looking at another 12- or 13-win season. Oh joy.
** Whose idea was it to schedule a basketball game at noon on New Year's Day?
No one who plans on celebrating tonight, that's for sure.
** Five NFL head coaches were fired Sunday and Monday, including one (Cleveland's Rob Chudzinski) who was on the job for one year.
And you thought mall Santas worked under short-term contracts.
** The Steelers have had three head coaches since 1969. The Browns have had three since 2012.
No punchline needed. They're the Browns.
** Tim Tebow's contract with ESPN has a provision that lets him "pursue playing opportunities in the NFL."
In other words, Tebow will be a TV analyst for a long, long time.
** One of the best college football players of all time, Tebow should not be a punchline.
Until ESPN made him one with their nonstop, over-the-top coverage.
** According to a USA Today story that further exposes college bowls for the financial boondoggle they are, Fresno State sold just 55 of of its 600 tickets priced at $50 for last year's Hawaii Bowl.
Sounds bad. Except the $27,250 the university absorbed in ticket losses is chump change compared to what it costs to charter a plane to Honolulu.
** For no particular reason: Tim Couch
** You'd think the Dodgers ought to be concerned about Yasiel Puig doing 110 mph on a Florida highway.
They're not. It's impossible to drive above 35 anywhere near Dodger Stadium.
** Kudos to Jon Kitna, who is donating the $53,000 game check he got from the Cowboys to the high school where he works as a math teacher.
Not for his generosity, but because so few NFL players actually passed math.
The Warzone has his party hat and blower all set to go. Return the favors at email@example.com or @MarekTheBee on Twitter.