Ask Amy: Better tell grandma about baby

FresnoOctober 19, 2013 

Dear Amy: About two months ago I found out that I was four months pregnant. The telltale signs were not there. I wasn't sick. In fact, I was losing weight and thought it was because I was stressed. My boyfriend had cheated on me and broke up with me before I learned I was pregnant.

When I found out, I immediately called him, and his response was, "I cannot support this. I will not support this. You need to take care of this." I was completely thrown by his reaction. I am 34 and successful. He is 37 and has a 5-year-old son (from his previous marriage) that he is amazing with.

I am sure he thought I was lying or that I wanted to get back together with him, both of which are false.

After I spoke with my family and decided to keep the baby, I told him. Then I asked him when he was going to tell his family. He said, "Never. It's none of their business."

I can understand that he is upset and nervous. This is not the ideal situation for either of us. Should I reach out to his mother to let her know she will be having another grandchild and give her the chance to make up her mind about whether she wants to be in this child's life? — Confused with child

Dear Confused: Your ex's mother should be made aware that she will have another grandchild, but, ideally, her son would break this news. Tell him, "I think your mom should be told about this. Do you want to talk to her, or should I?"

This is a tough situation. But it is what it is, and time has an amazing way of knitting together solutions, as long as everybody resolves to be as patient as possible.

Your ex obviously feels trapped. He is also obviously fertile. I hope he figures out a more reliable birth control method because he seems not to want to have (more) children, and now he has two.

Dear Amy: I was interested to read the letter from "Worried Husband," whose wife was going on sleep-eating binges while taking Ambien. I had a similar experience while on Ambien and am now using a homeopathic remedy. I sleep like a baby.

— Well rested

Dear Rested: As a longtime insomniac, I can honestly say that I sleep like a baby too.

Every two hours I wake up and cry.


You can contact Amy Dickinson via email at, follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.

The Fresno Bee is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere in the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

Commenting FAQs | Terms of Service