Ask Amy: High and mighty insult leaves her high and dry

October 4, 2013 

Dear Amy: I was secretary to a club in the process of dissolving. One of our members, "Jessica," is a lawyer. After taking notes at one of our final meetings, I emailed the notes to the few members we have left. Jessica emailed the notes back to everyone, citing more legal ways to phrase them.

The dissolution of this group is one of several stressors in my life, and Jessica's criticism really hurt. I emailed everyone back, calling her "high and mighty" and suggested that, since she didn't like the way I wrote up the notes, to do it herself.

After giving myself a day to think, I emailed her and suggested that she send out a revised version of the notes. I also mentioned that I felt uncomfortable around her, that I had a feeling she doesn't like me and thinks I'm dumb. She responded, claiming I had said hateful things about her and that she didn't want anything to do with me.

I replied and apologized for calling her "high and mighty." Other than that, I can't think of anything I said that would be called hateful. Until a few days ago, I liked her. I wrote that if she will provide the legal letterhead she thinks is important, I will rewrite the notes according to her specifications.

Since I told her I wouldn't bother her anymore, until I hear from her (if I do), I'm going to leave her alone.

I know I said things I shouldn't. Now I am trying to make it right. Any suggestions?

— Licking my wounds

Dear Licking: You initiated the nastiness. You've apologized. Now, (please, God) just stop.

Dear Amy: My nephew was married on a Friday evening, and our family went to the wedding and reception. We gave them a card along with a check for their gift.

The check was cashed the following Monday, endorsed over to the reception hall. It appears that we were invited so they could pay the reception bill.

— Old-fashioned aunt

Dear Aunt: If you had given this couple a cappuccino maker as a wedding gift, wouldn't you be pleased if they opened the box and used it quickly?

Monetary gifts to the couple seldom actually bring in enough to pay for the reception. Your gift might not have even covered the cost of your own meal. I assure you, inviting people to a reception in the hopes that they will pay for it is not a good business model.

I hope you had a good time at this wedding and reception. You were generous to help them pay for it, and I hope you will feel better after they thank you.


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