Enter the Warzone, new bat time, same batty logic.
-- Fat guy touchdown? Fat guy touchdown?
We'd like to see any of those oh-so-clever folks on Twitter say that to Austin Wentworth's face.
"Big guys have feelings too," Fresno State's left tackle said. "It should be a 'big-boned guy touchdown.' "
-- Wentworth stands 6 feet, 5 inches and weighs 306 pounds.
That might be fat for Zumba class, but it's svelte for an offensive lineman.
"You have to be part lineman and part track star in this offense," Wentworth added.
-- Wentworth then went on to explain why the hook-and-lateral was called near the goal line: "They don't want me burning a corner from 40 yards out."
Yup. We're going to enjoy covering this guy.
-- What Cal Poly did against the Bulldogs' second- and third- stringers Saturday night is as relevant as when Fresno State "won the second half" (Pat Hill's words) against Oklahoma in 2003.
-- CBS plans to unveil a "Johnny Cam" for Saturday's Alabama-Texas A&M game that follows Johnny Manziel's every move.
Why didn't they think of that during the offseason?
-- Tim Tebow reportedly turned down offers from NFL teams because he didn't want to switch positions.
That's either a case of pride cometh before the fall, or take my ball and goeth home.
-- Jim Harbaugh said Clay Matthews should "come with some knuckles" after the Packers linebacker slapped Joe Staley with an open hand.
Not-so-wise words from a guy who once broke his hand taking a swing at Jim Kelly.
-- Braeden Anderson's health is far more important than whether he'll suit up for the Bulldogs basketball team. (Fresno State is being tight-lipped about Anderson's condition following last Tuesday's car accident.)
That said, this is the worst possible news for coach Rodney Terry, who just can't buy any good news these days.
-- As part of wrestling's Olympic reinstatement, officials pledged to continue the sport's "modernization."
Not sure what that means, but we'll take women's wrestling over ribbon waving any day.
-- FIFA president Sepp Blatter now admits that awarding the World Cup to Qatar, with its Fresno-like summer heat, may have been a mistake.
Besides, the bribes already have been paid.
-- For no particular reason: Marc Dailey
-- A reader says she hardly recognizes the Warzone in his new photo.
A little less chin and a lot less hair.
-- Great to see a smiling Jerry Tarkanian enjoy his long-awaited induction into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame.
For all of Tarkanian's on-the-court accomplishments, he was also the first major sports figure to cast stones at the NCAA's glass house. In hindsight, that alone probably merits induction.
The Warzone doesn't just cast stones, he hurls them. Return fire at (559) 441-6218, email@example.com or @MarekTheBee on Twitter.