Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16. We are now 22 years old and have graduated from college and are working in our professional fields.

We moved in together last June. I am ready to get engaged and married and within three years start to have children. He, on the other hand, is not ready for any of that because he feels he's still really young (and in reality we are).

We recently went to a friend's wedding. He felt very uncomfortable about it (as did I) and we got into a huge fight. He said things that he immediately regretted. How do I speed up the process of getting that ring on my finger and carry on with our life together?

-- Anxious

Dear Anxious: Let's imagine that you successfully pressure your guy and get everything you want with the timetable you've attached to it. You get this by arguing about it and pressuring him. He relents because he loves you and wants you to be happy, because you've worn him down and because he can't think of truly "valid" reasons to delay.

The years fly by. Your husband wakes up one day and realizes he's 30 years old with three children. A vague unhappiness sets in. He can't really put his finger on the cause. He wonders if he ever really wanted the life he leads. He wishes he was single, and he blames you that he's not.

Of course, none of this might happen, but putting the pressure on now increases the odds that you both will have regrets later.

Table the topic for six months. Circle a date on the calendar where you mutually agree to talk about it again. The only power you should be prepared to wield is your choice to stay in the relationship -- or to leave it if it isn't satisfying.

Dear Amy: "Concerned Friend" reported that her best friend was beautiful and yet always deflected compliments because of low self-esteem.

It would be great if we taught people to graciously accept a compliment. Maybe if she learned to do that she would stop reflecting on her negative attributes -- real or imaginary.

-- Caroline

Dear Caroline: I agree. Saying "Thank you!" is a great start.