Dear Amy: Recently I was shopping and ran into one of my older brother's friends. He is 19 years old. I am 16.

I was attracted to him. He invited me to his house and I went. He kissed me. I wanted to make out with him, but I did not want to go all the way and told him so.

We made out. I wanted to stop. I wanted only to kiss him. We ended up having sex.

I didn't say "stop" out loud. I kept thinking, "Stop! Stop! Stop!" But I didn't say it. I don't know why. I felt scared and shy. He didn't do anything to scare me. I just felt too scared to say stop.

My mom's friend said I was raped. Was I raped? I don't want to go to the police. I just want to know the answer.

-- Super sad

Dear Sad: Your mother's friend is right. Though there are different legal definitions of rape in different states, you did not give your consent to have sex. In fact, you said -- out loud -- that you didn't want to, and you were raped.

I am so sorry this happened. Your confusion is common to people who have been through this.

Your mother's friend sounds kind, smart and supportive. Please let her help you now. You need STD and pregnancy testing.

I urge you to go to the police.

For more support and information, you can check the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network hotline at rainn.org or by calling (800) 656-4673.

Dear Amy: I lost my baby daughter a little over nine years ago when she was 4 months old. I still have trouble dealing with this, despite therapy.

My best friend recently had a baby and named her daughter my baby's name. She used the first and middle names of my child.

Her daughter is now 2 months old, and I have not seen the baby (or her). I don't take her calls.

I feel as if I can't be around her or her daughter because the name will keep my baby in my head. What should I do?

-- Sad

Dear Sad: I can't imagine why your friend has done this, but there is nothing confrontational about being honest and asking a question.

You say: "I've been keeping my distance because I feel so sad every time I think about your baby and mine having the same name. Can you tell me why you made that choice?"

She may tell you that she thought this would honor your child's memory. If she says this, you'll have to tell her she is very mistaken and that it makes it hard for you to be around them.