Friday, Feb. 01, 2013 | 08:06 AM
Enter the Warzone, the extra special Super Bowl edition.
-- The buildup to Sunday has been pretty slow so far -- at least by New Orleans standards.
No John Matuszak partying on Bourbon Street at 3 a.m. ("Making sure nobody else is here," the Tooz famously explained.) No Jim McMahon mooning a television helicopter. No Duane Thomas asking, "If it's the ultimate game, how come they're playing it again next year?"
But if Ray Lewis sprouts a four-point rack before kickoff, all bets are off.
-- All the Fresno State fans who don't like the 49ers can console themselves with the knowledge that they once got to cheer for the second-best quarterback from Turlock.
-- Next time you're driving up Highway 99, stop at Footers on Main Street in Turlock and order up a Kaepernick Dog: all-meat chili, cole slaw, jalapeños and special sauce.
Must be how Colin Kaepernick got those ripped abs. (Not.)
-- Lewis angrily denied a Sports Illustrated report that he used deer-antler spray to recover from a torn triceps.
But he does admit it's getting tougher and tougher to put on his helmet.
-- The Ravens insist Lewis has never failed a drug test, which made even Lance Armstrong roll his eyes.
-- Why does PED use in the NFL get overlooked, both by the media and fans?
There are 9 billion reasons.
-- Randy Moss might be considered the greatest receiver of all time -- if he hadn't quit on the Raiders.
-- After making a rash of homophobic remarks, 49ers cornerback Tyrone Culliver issued an apology saying those words didn't come from his "heart."
Yeah, but they sure came from his mouth.
-- Has the CBS pregame show started yet?
Sure hope someone reminds Jim Nantz that azaleas don't grow out from FieldTurf.
-- Siabu, the orangutan at Chaffee Zoo, picked the 49ers to win by choosing their blanket out of a box.
Siabu's brother, Dan Marino, will make his pick Sunday morning.
-- Here's what Jim Harbaugh said when asked if he was worried brother John could read his mind:
"No. Worried about a lot of things, but I have not noticed that he has any clairvoyant powers."
-- Archie Manning is glad the focus is on another family this year.
The rest of America is equally thankful.
A map that data-mined 35 million Facebook users' favorite NFL team showed Fresno and Madera counties colored red for the 49ers, Tulare and Kings counties in black for the Raiders, and Kern County in blue for the Cowboys.
Cowboys? If California ever splits into two states, we know where to put the line.
-- For no particular reason: Dan Bunz.
-- A 49ers fan got scammed for $5,900 after purchasing four bogus Super Bowl tickets on Craigslist.
Next time, use RogerCraigslist.
-- A poll of 300 current NFL players revealed that 39% are happy with the job Roger Goodell is doing as commissioner.
The other 61% were too concussed to respond.
