Enter the Warzone, purring like a recently serviced air conditioner.
- Not all that long ago, the worst things you could say about Joe Paterno was that he was old and out of touch.
Paterno's might be the most sudden fall from grace since Icarus.
- If Ohio State gets a one-year bowl ban for selling championship rings and USC gets four years' probation and other sanctions for the Reggie Bush imbroglio, Penn State deserves much worse for letting a monster like Jerry Sandusky roam free.
Seems like the very definition of "lack of institutional control."
- The NCAA is now allowing basketball coaches to send unlimited texts and make unlimited phone calls to potential recruits.
Quick, someone text Ray Lopes a job offer.
- Minnesota will once again sell beer and wine during football games at its on-campus stadium -- and expects to rake in $1.3 million in extra revenues.
The curtains of hypocrisy continue to get pulled back ...
- Here's what Richard Beeson, a Minnesota regent, said about schools (like Fresno State) that only let fans in expensive luxury suites sip beer and wine during games:
"There's something sort of inequitable about serving alcohol to one type of fan."
There most certainly is.
- Sounds like Fresno's poor air quality contributed to wide receiver Jalen Saunders' decision to leave the Bulldogs. He transferred in May to Oklahoma.
But that doesn't let Tim DeRuyter completely off the hook. We'd still like to know why Saunders apparently wasn't well suited for DeRuyter's spread offense but Oklahoma's fit him like Yves Saint Laurent.
- Saunders, meanwhile, is asking the NCAA for a waiver that would let him play for the Sooners this season.
- In today's AYSO-ized society, it seems like every college football player is on some kind of "watch list."
The rest get juice boxes and orange slices.
- At this point, NBA fans don't care if Dwight Howard gets traded to the Flint Tropics.
The guy is more wishy-washy than a fresh set of wiper blades.
- In four years, Clovis' Ryan Cook went from 27th-round draft pick to All-Star closer for the Oakland A's.
We'd call it a meteoric rise, except Cook looks like he's here to stay.
- Amazing how the Los Angeles Angels continue to produce young studs like Mike Trout and Mark Trumbo.
Those guys will be all-stars for the next decade. When Albert Pujols is playing on Geritol.
- For no particular reason: Leo Nomellini
- Kobe Bryant is right on when he says the 2012 U.S. Olympic basketball team could beat the Dream Team.
But only because Michael Jordan is 49, Larry Bird is 54 and Magic Johnson is pushing 53.
- Sorry, Kobe, but it's no lock the 33-year-old version of you even makes the Dream Team.
- As if we don't have enough body issues, ESPN continues to put out its annual "Body Issue."
Enough sinewy skeletons. Where are the competitive eaters?
Despite appearances to the contrary, the Warzone cant stomach many hot dogs. Tell him hes full (of it) at firstname.lastname@example.org
or (559) 441-6218.