Dear Amy: I had a miscarriage last year around this time. I was in a horrible state at first and then started cheering up, but now I'm starting to feel depressed about it again.

I don't know if it's because the anniversary of this miscarriage is coming up or what else it could be -- but I don't know what to do.

Should I tell my family and friends or doctor? I just don't want to be depressed about it anymore. I have other kids to think about, but I just can't stop thinking about the one I lost. What should I do?

-- Feeling depressed

Dear Depressed: It is completely understandable that you would experience grief and sadness at this time -- especially if you "held it together" for your children after your miscarriage.

Please, reach out to others, realizing that not all people are capable of responding. Some will try to erase your grief by insisting that you focus on the positive instead of understanding your pain.

Your doctor should understand and will prescribe medication or refer you to a therapist if she believes you are clinically depressed.

For many grieving people, knowing you are not alone is one key to healing. Your hospital will have information about local miscarriage support groups.

Read "I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery," by Ellen M. DuBois and Linda R. Backman (CreateSpace, 2006).

Dear Amy: More feedback for "Bah Humbug." I hope she follows her heart on how to celebrate the holidays next year.

My husband and I radically changed our celebration this year, each observing the season in our own way, and it was just lovely.

The sky didn't fall. Friends and relatives are still speaking to us, and we're certainly speaking to one another, smiling, and asking why we didn't do this sooner.

I suspect that Bah may just discover that, freed from a frantic baking/shopping/wrapping/decorating fiend of a wife full of resentments and expectations, her husband may come through with some heartfelt gestures to observe the season that she will truly appreciate.

That's what happened to us.

-- Happy New Year in Virginia

Dear Happy: I've heard from many readers who had a serious case of the "Bahs" this year. Thank you for the inspiration to do things differently.