Dear Amy: Both of my parents are Irish immigrants, so Ive been raised saying things like me coat and calling my mother Mum.
I also spell words with the Irish spelling rather than the American way.
I am 15 years old, and my friends have started catching on, spelling things the same way and using the same phrases and language as me.
At first, I didnt really mind, but now its becoming annoying.
I feel as if they are trying to take away my culture, especially now that one of my friends, Janet, is using random Gaelic phrases. I know these phrases because my parents are fluent in Gaelic.
I dont know how to get my friends to stop attempting to take over my culture. Whats your advice?
Dear Forever: Using the Irish vernacular doesnt mean your friends are taking your parents native culture any more than dancing to the soundtrack of Slumdog Millionaire makes any of us a Bollywood star but were all allowed our cross-cultural fantasies, right?
Ideally, youd be flattered by this sort of appropriation, but I can understand how listening to your friends say me Mum would get old.
I admit to being one of those individuals who instantly appropriates the language and accent of the person Im speaking with, until a friend warned that my flat Eastern accent didnt lend itself well to kvelling and kvetching. So I stopped.
Your friends are fascinated by your culture. We Americans tend to believe that our own culture is boring and flavorless.
But as we are fond of reminding anyone still listening its a free country, and your friends have the right to be annoying.
Your best defense is to laugh when your friend Janet gets your Irish up.
Whats so funny, pal-o-mine? shell ask.
Youre as Irish as Jennifer Lopez, but hey good try!
Dear Amy: I am really struggling with a breakup.
We dated for three years and, like all couples, had our issues, but nothing major.
Everything seemed to be going well, and then all of a sudden he started to do things that were completely out of character.
I confronted him about his actions and he said, If I think youre miserable, I will break up with you because I dont think you would be able to handle it, and then he broke up with me.
Now I think about him constantly.
Should I reach out to him or wait to see if he tries to contact me? He knows where I stand.
Bummed Over Break
Dear Bummed: Your ex knows where you stand, and he knows youre motivated to work things out. Unfortunately, he doesnt seem to share your goals.
The cowards way out of a relationship is to behave badly and basically dare the other person to object to the infraction. Throwing down the gauntlet was part of his exit strategy. He has dared you to tolerate this breakup, so rise to his challenge and do well.
Dont call him he owes you an apology.
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