10. Fresno State has been declared a sovereign nation.
9. It's not a football game if you can't get swacked.
8. Gotta wash down all that catered grub.
7. What good is money if it can't buy special privileges?
6. They're on strict diets -- no water unless laced with booze.
5. How else to toast the little people?
4. So parents of students can use "arrogant hypocrites" in a sentence.
3. They're creating a Bulldog auxiliary called the "Boozehounds."
2. So the city can pump up revenue from post-game DUIs.
1. President John Welty's motto is "Do as I say, not as I do."
Help us compile our weekly Top 10 list by sending topics and your snarky lines to letters@fresnobee.com. You can also fax them to (559) 441-6499; or mail them to: Top 10 List, Vision Section, The Fresno Bee, P.O. Box 12504, Fresno, CA 93778-2504.